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Well Being: All Men Are Dogs

black model being licked by his labrador puppy dogThe first time I ever heard the phrase “all men are dogs” I was about 9 or 10 years old. My first thought was that’s so cool! I love dogs. They’re cute, furry, loyal and loving. The only problem was the woman saying it seemed very upset. I thought maybe she didnt’ like dogs and it was just a comparison for her. But the whole thing wasn’t making sense. Of course I asked my Mom to explain this to me. I said I love dogs what’s the problem. She sort of explained it to me, just enough for me to go away but not enough for me to integrate that notion into my being.

I know this is a website dedicated to uplifting Black women, why would I be talking about this? Because others need to be uplifted as well. Who are we to ask for better access to health care, pay increases and more positive images without giving it out. There is clearly an increasing divide between Black women, Black men and men in general. Though this is often attributed to the made up chronic disease of Angry Black Woman Syndrome, there are other factors at play here. The notion that men are dogs is one of them.

All men are not dogs. Some men are dogs and they need to be referred to by name. Don’t blame the entire gender because Micheal, John, David or Chris did dirty. And only call them a dog if they did something a bad dog would do. Don’t blame it on Snoopy, he never did anything to anybody.

In all seriousness, the role of Black women has become tantamount to that of White men. I’m going to go more in depth in a later article, but let me scratch the surface for you. During slavery it became the Black woman’s role to keep the family together as best she could. Black women have always partnered with men in the fight for freedom and civil rights. Somewhere after the climax of the civil rights movement there began a breaking down of the Black family unit. Black women had to step up to being bread winners in order to have a dual-income household. It wasn’t common for Black women to work inside of the home only. Then Black women started attending college at higher rates, in fact 9.7% of Black women attend college which is higher than any other demographic in the United States. Add on to that the professional success and now Black women are among the fastest growing demographic of entrepreneurs. All of this may be contributing to a divide within the Black community between men and women. Perhaps Black men are beginning to fill displaced as the providers and Black women have moved away from being vulnerable and find it difficult to transition from being the boss at work to being the wife at home. Black women are also least likely to date outside of their race.

What do we do to solve this? There is no simple answer, but I would love to see the eradication of “all men are dogs” from our lexicon. Choose better. If Michael, John, David and Chris did you wrong they have one thing in common…you. Don’t punish the next one for the last one. That’s difficult to do because our brains are wired to bring up the past and keep us in a loop. You must be aware of that behavior and stop the loop. If you are someone who says or thinks that men are dogs, I urge you to stop because you are telling the Universe that is what you want. Become aware of what you’re actually feeling when you say that and begin to release it.

Don’t you worry, I’ll address the men so enough. They have their own relationship with dogs, female dogs, that need to be addressed. But give men and dogs a break. Share, like and comment if you agree or disagree. We want to hear from you.

 

REAL TALK | REAL THINGS | REAL RESULTS

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